The babies just keep getting bigger and I keep getting busier and more tired. Carter is so close to crawling now. He can get up on all fours but instead of going forward he scoots himself backwards. I think it's a matter of days before he takes off on me. Brennan has gotten on his hands and knees before, but it still only occurs sporadically.

However the opposite is true for holding bottles. Brennan is almost a pro at holding them himself while Carter has some of the motions but hasn't put it all together yet.

Evan has been home with me this week since his school is on winter break. Why a daycare needs a winter break, I have no clue, but whatever. I guess it's like paying a babysitter or Nanny a week's vacation.

We are currently searching for a babysitter to watch the twins while I participate in the 'Lose a Ton' competition. I hate having to rely on my mother-in-law so many times each week, plus I get the feeling she doesn't like doing it that often.

I've got a few that appear to be great candidates, so Kevin and I plan to interview them this weekend. Hopefully they are ready to start right away!

This week I had met my personal trainer for the first time. Jordan is a very nice guy and really knows his stuff. The competition officially starts late next week, so he doesn't want me to work out a ton or lose weight until then, but he does want to get my body eased into working out again.

Today I bought Evan and I "Sesame Street Live" tickets. It was so cute watching him get all worked up and excited every time the commercial came on that I couldn't not take him to see Elmo. I never dreamed it would be so expensive though...which is why Kevin isn't going with us, plus we won't need someone to watch the kids then.

That's what's been going on around here lately. Hope everyone has a happy and safe New Year's! We aren't doing anything special and will most likely treat it as a normal, everyday night. Kids in bed by eight and mom and dad in bed usually by ten or eleven.

Sick, and not the good kind

Everyone in this house has one thing or another going on health-wise. Things have been pretty miserable here the last few days. The babies have some nasty colds going on, probably courtesy of big brother and daycare. You know the kind, the perpetual river of green ooze sliding from their nostrils. Last week Kevin was battling what I think the twins had a little bit ago, same symptoms all the way down to the double ear infection. Evan has the daycare slime too. It seems that I have some weirdo eye infection, not pink eye, but something weird and a major sinus infection. Let me tell you it's nothing but fun times going on around here.

I never told you guys, because I just found out on Tuesday (I think, stuff blurs together nowadays) and well...because I don't really update this as often as I should. Who has time for that? Anyway, a few weeks ago I had the tv on while taking care of babies when I noticed a local television show was continuing there "Lose a Ton" challenge and accepting new applications. I figured, what the hell, I could definitely stand to lose a few and there's no motivating factor like public humiliation, so I sent in my submission.

I was hoping that the uniqueness of being a new twin mommy would be a good element for the show, turns out it is! I got a call from a friend we hang out with maybe once a year, who just happens to be the dietitian for the competition. She called to say congrats because she was looking down the names on the semifinalist sheet and saw my name. This was news to me, nobody had yet contacted me, but I was super excited. A few hours later I got a call from the show's producer and she made it official. I go in on Tuesday, also Kevin's birthday, for an interview. From there they reduce the top 20 to the final 12. I'm crossing my fingers that I make the cut.

Contestants get a free gym membership and personal trainer amongst other things. Nice, right? And the winner of the whole competition gets a free trip to Mexico or something. Pretty sweet, now if Kevin only had the desire to leave the country, but we won't put that cart before the horse. Don't want to jinx anything.

Milestones

I have a few tidbits to fill everyone in on from the past month or so, so here goes. Almost exactly at the four month mark the babies started to notice each other and it is positively the cutest thing I have ever witnessed. Both boys are rolling 360s across the floor to get from one side of the room to the other (and have been for a long while) and they are also starting to hold the weight from the front of their bodies on their arms, Brennan more so than Carter. You can tell that once they get their butts up in the air over their knees they are going to be on the move, and fast!

They each have their bottom two front teeth in the beginning phases of coming in and the drooling has officially begun. The babies are starting to try to hold their own bottles. Carter is my little conversationalist and Brennan is my mover and shaker; definitely starting to see two very different personalities forming.

We started solids off this last week and the boys quite thoroughly enjoy their meal time, but are also still really digging the bottle.

Life is also starting to settle down a bit and things are getting easier to handle as both boys have started to sleep through the night some nights. The nights they don't, they typically will only wake once for a bottle and I think Kevin and I are going to break them of that before too long if they don't do it on their own.

They love sucking on blankies, so for Christmas Santa is bringing them each their very own taggie blanket and matching linky squeak toy. Evan is getting a train table with the works and a bunch of Thomas engines and accessories. He also will have a new Thomas dvd in his stocking along with plenty of treats, a new Elmo toothbrush, some Crayons, a few wooden cars, a few Hot Wheels cars and the list goes on.

Today I'm beginning to feel refreshed from my busy life and for the first time in a while and I am reminded how lucky I am to have such a beautiful family. We are so blessed and I can't wait to put up the Christmas decorations to help spread even more cheer and goodwill around our house. I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving!

Just when I think life is starting to get easier...

I was finally feeling like I was starting to figure this MoM thing out and the world had to snap me back into the reality of my life. Things have been pretty crazy 'round these parts the past week. At one point I contemplated putting a giant "sick tent" around our house, but that would just exhaust me even more.

The whole family spent last weekend down at my parents' house (yes, again!) and it started out pretty routine and escalated into disaster rather quickly. In the wee hours of Sunday morning Carter woke up crying like he had done several times that night. Kevin went in to the kitchen to make him a bottle and I fed him while still half asleep. When I was changing his diaper I noticed his body felt warmer than usual, so I grabbed the medical kit in my diaper bag and pulled out the thermometer...101.5. Not great, but not terrible. I gave him a dose of Tylenol and put him back to bed hoping it was nothing more.

The family got up for the day around 9 a.m. after a night of terrible sleep. Throughout the day Carter's temp continued to rise into the 103s. We kept up with the Tylenol, but the medicine would do little, if anything to help my poor little bug. My mom helped give him tepid baths and drape him in cool, wet cloths which would work temporarily, but we always ended up back in the same place.

You could tell the he felt absolutely miserable and he cried and whimpered the whole time unless by some miracle you were able to get him to sleep. Night started to set in and his situation was not getting any better and my mind started to wonder myself into nervousness with thoughts of the swine flu and death rates among infants. I decided to call a nearby hospital to seek advice - they wanted me to bring him in.

By the time we packed up and got on the road it was nearly 10:30 at night and there was a steady rain for the entire half hour drive. We were admitted and seen almost right away and the ER pediatrician diagnosed Carter with a double ear infection. A nurse came in to give him some numbing drops and Motrin to make him a little more comfortable.

The doctor told us he would be prescribing some antibiotics, so we waited in our room for a while. Mom went with me and she struck up conversation with a mom of a little baby girl in the next room over, she also had a high temperature. The mother said the pediatrician was prescribing her daughter some IV fluids. We were so thankful our little buddy wasn't getting the same...or so we thought.

Another nurse came in and stated she was ready to start his IV. My mother and I looked at eachother and said we thought she had the wrong room and should be in the next one over. She looked confused at first and then actually agreed with us, but went to ask the doctor just in case.

She came back with a sorrowful look on her face and I stood by with tears streaming down my face as my tiny four month old son had an IV line placed in his foot after first trying in his left arm. He was also prescribed some antibiotics through his IV. It took about an hour to get everything into his body and we waited a few more minutes to be discharged.

He was really sick for an additional two days before he started showing signs of improvement. Mom called in sick to work on Monday since we didn't get back to her house until almost four in the morning, so that was a big help. On Tuesday, Carter was still wanting to be held 24/7, so I sent Brennan off to my mother-in-law's house and Kevin and I went for a follow up visit at our regular pediatrician's office. Carter still had an ear infection in his right ear, but the left one was already cleared.

On the drive there, we got a call from Kevin's mom and she told us that Brennan felt a little warm. Crap...here it comes! After our appointment we went to pick up Brennan and went back home. Kevin went back to work for a few hours and I had things under control and both babies napping. Then they woke up and all chaos ensued as I tried to calm them down. Which by the way, did not work - I need help. I frantically called Kevin, who by the grace of God somehow must have read my mind. He had already picked Evan up from school and was driving through our neighborhood.

That afternoon and night were delivered straight from the depths of hell. Nobody seemed to rest, although we did notice Carter was sleeping better than he had been. The next morning he seemed a lot better, so we sent him over to my Mother-in-law's house. Same song, different verse. Brennan ended up with an ear infection and was also given some antibiotics.

My mom, dad, and also Kevin and I think that it was possibly the swine flu and that it weakened their immune systems so badly that they developed ear infections. Carter was swabbed and tested at the hospital and it came back negative, but our pediatrician said she has read the tests are only anywhere from 10 to 70% accurate. I guess we'll never know for sure.

Today is the first day they are both feeling well and I hope to catch my breath sometime next week!

Mommy Instinct

So ever since last Saturday the boys have been projectile vomiting a few times a day. We took them to see Dr. G, our pediatrician on Monday. She suspected they had a bug and instructed us to call back in a few days if it continued. I called back yesterday (Thursday) and talked to the nurse, who relayed my message to the doctor. The nurse called back and informed us that Dr. G would not be prescribing us anything for it.

I immediately became upset after hanging up the phone. About six or eight weeks earlier we made a same day appointment to be seen for the same issue, but Dr. G was not in the office so we saw Dr. C. Dr. C strongly felt the boys were indeed battling reflux, but did not want to prescribe anything, because he wanted to stick with what he thought Dr. G might do. He gave us a few different samples of formula to try and sent us on our way.

We tried each type of formula and one of them seemed to help just a bit, so we continued it's use and quite honestly, got used to changing their clothes and ours many times a day. After receiving the return phone call yesterday I immediately began the search for a second opinion and possibly a new pediatrician.

Dr. G seemed to have been getting on a medical, anti-medicine high horse lately. We used to really be on the same page but I recently started to notice she was getting a little more extreme in her practicing. We just don't agree anymore.

Today we went to see Dr. Y and we loved her! It felt so good to have my concerns validated and listened to, you can never go wrong listening to your mommy instinct. The boys are going to get some kind of special medicine, not zantac....not sure what exactly it is though since they send the script over electronically to our pharmacist. We haven't picked it up yet, but are excited to give it a try and possibly get some relief.

Kevin and I decided rather quickly that we will begin the switch to the new doctor. On Monday we will have all of the records faxed over and have our official four month well baby(s) visit. I'm also excited because the new office is literally a two minute drive from our house, the old one was a good 25-30 minute drive.

I think it's safe to say that I've learned my lesson: your mommy instinct is always right; go with your gut! My boys have been in pain and not getting any relief for nearly two months now and it makes me sad to know that I didn't question the doctor sooner.

Naps

So, I told you I would write about naps sometime. The good news first: the boys are sleeping better than they ever have and are going down easier than they were. The bad news: our pediatrician recommended it was time to let them cry it out. I even questioned her about how young they were, but she insisted everything would be fine. So please do not be judgmental, I know this is a touchy and controversial topic and I'm already in a fragile enough state.

Before they were sleeping maybe, and I use that term loosely, one to two hours per day. I could see my life spiraling downward right in front of me and much too fast to even keep up with the thought of it all. We are still in the midst of the crying it out method, the boys take generally about fifteen to thirty minutes to get themselves to sleep. They would stay down for forty five minutes to an hour before waking up and crying again, but they are getting better at calming themselves down and staying asleep.

Our doctor's orders were to keep them awake for an hour and a half and put them in their cribs for two hours, even if they cry the entire time. Ugh, it sounds so cruel and honestly their cries do get to me, but I also see the improvements they've made in just one week. Kevin can't stand it, he absolutely hates it, but also sees their sleeping getting better so we both continue according with what the doctor suggested.

Night time is getting easier even though they aren't sleeping in longer periods, still about three to four hours at a time between feedings. I think we are just getting used to the nightly grind and settling into our routine.

Even though having Brennan and Carter cry themselves to sleep and it is difficult to hear them, I can see myself being a better mom to them when they are awake. Geez, how terrible does that sound? Those two hours allow me to get things done around the house and (sometimes) even some time to myself to wind down before the madness begins all over again.

Switching gears now, the babies will be going to Nonna and PawPaw's house tonight for a few hours. Evan has an annual event at school tonight called Trunk or Treat and Kevin and I are taking him. It really is a cute night. The parents all open up the trunks of their vehicles and decorate them in a fall or Halloween type theme. The kids get to go around to each car and trick or treat in their costumes.

I love it, he gets two uses out of his costume since he'll also be wearing the same one on Halloween night. This year Evan is going as a fireman and his brothers (if we take them out, weather permitting) are going to be Frank and Stein. We ordered two cute little frankenstein outfits online, they even come with a hat that has little black stitches across it.

I really need to go, while the boys are napping I'm supposed to be getting things together for tonight. Wish me luck that the boys stay asleep long enough for me to get it done!

Darkness

A few weeks ago we moved the babies from our bed into two pack n' plays in our room so we could all try to get better sleep. They were beginning to wake every three hours, sometimes sooner and it seemed like my sleep deficit continued to increase. I tried to convince Kevin that something had to give, but he was not ready to move them into their cribs just yet.

Yesterday was by far the worst day to date for me with the twins. I tried from 9 am until 2 in the evening to get them down for a nap with very little success. Just as I would get one to sleep the other one would start to cry. This turned into a very vicious cycle and both were exhausted but continued to fight.

I remember laying there in bed with them next to me screaming until they were red in the face with tears streaming down their little pudgy cheeks. I was completely paralyzed by the sounds of their cries. A good ten minutes passed and I tried to compose myself, caressing them both in my arms and carrying them out to the rocking chair in the living room. My lowest, darkest parenting moment. We rocked. And we all three cried together, me wishing I was somewhere else or anyone else than who and where I was at that actual moment. I was questioning why God would do this to me; he surely should know that I'm not equipped to handle two of them - there was only supposed to be one.

Kevin tried to get in contact with me all day by phone and I didn't have the energy to talk...or argue. I guess eventually he got worried enough to where he left work and came home to check on us. There I sat on the couch, eating my first "meal" of the day while both babies were in hysterics, and this was at two o'clock. We had a nice long talk about how I needed either more or better quality sleep. I expressed how I felt I always had to be "on", even during the night. He is such a sound sleeper he honestly does not hear their cries, even when they are right next to him.

We finally decided it was a good idea to put them down for the night in their room and in their own cribs. When bedtime came we rocked them to sleep and went according to plan. God must have had pity on me and gave me a break. Carter woke up hungry at around 1:30. We are somewhat convinced that Brennan might have slept through the night, but we chose to wake him for the feeding with his brother just in case.

The next time I heard a cry it was close to 6 a.m. and once again it was Mr. Carter who was hungry. Brennan was still sleeping like a rock. Hopefully tonight goes just as smoothly.

I'll have to save the failure of their ability to nap for my next post. Naptime equals one big, fat fail!

Mommy's Time Out

After a pretty long and trying week with the boys, I decided I needed a small break. Actually, I broke down. I tried calling my mom at work, but she was teaching one of her classes for trainees in her department. I wound up calling my dad and ended up in tears and barely able to mutter or construct a few sentences while gasping for air. Ugh. I guess it was a long time comin'!

I managed to get my point across somewhere in my blubbering. I asked if they could watch the babies on Saturday and they very happily agreed to. Evan was supposed to go to Kevin's mom and dad's house, but they ended up already having plans, so he went down to my parents' house too. They survived with all three of them, but had plenty of hands on deck to help out; Uncle Dude (my brother Josh), Uncle Nate, and also Uncle Nate's practically live-in girlfriend, Tiffany.

I got everyone all packed up and into the car around 8:30 in the morning to make the one hour drive to drop them off. While I was doing that, Kevin stayed home and picked up the house, which by the way must've had more explosions within. I was gone for a total of three hours round trip. I came home to find Kevin snoring himself into a wonderful nap. I decided to join him, but only managed to get a little over an hour of sleep. Not exactly catching me up on my sleep deficit, but nice nonetheless.

After getting up, we headed out for lunch at P.F. Chang's and planned on catching a movie afterward. Lunch was yummy, but the stars weren't exactly aligning for our movie date. Turns out there is nothing playing right now that we wanted to see. We decided to head over to the mall and relax in the Borders bookstore. I browsed cookbooks while Kevin flipped through magazines.

From there, we were craving dessert, so we headed across the upper level of the mall and walked our childless, happy selves into The Cheesecake Factory. I'm not a fan of cheesecake, so I opted for some sort of chocolately goodness. The name escapes me, but it was a huge piece, the cake itself seemed like it was a mile high. Kevin ordered the Snickers cheesecake.

From there we really weren't sure what to do with ourselves. It was too early to pick up the kids, so we headed into Babies R Us to get Evan some pajamas, poor kid had outgrown most of his. After that we decided it was probably time to bring ourselves back to reality and headed down to get the kids.

It's kind of funny how things worked out though. I needed a whole new fall/winter wardrobe since Kevin ruined my entire one from last year (don't ask, that's a whole other story and I still get upset about it!) I also need new shoes of all kinds. My feet feel like they grew a whole size from this last pregnancy and I never really noticed because I all but lived in flip flops. Now that the weather is turning a bit cooler, I tried putting on a pair of my old tennis shoes and my toes felt like they were going to go right through the front of the shoe. Well, back to my point...the thought never crossed our minds to do something we actually needed to do, which was all sorts of bliss.

For once we didn't have to focus on what needed to get done, who was crying or hungry, what bills needed to be paid, etc. For the first time in a long time we took the time to just relax and were able to do things spur of the moment and really enjoy ourselves. It was so wonderful not to dread the one million steps needed just to get out of the car and into a store before pulling into the parking lots.

Today's Monday...and it's back to the grind around this place. It was nice while it lasted!

The Explosion! and the "Big Salad"

Yeah, I think someone crammed a bunch of clothes, dishes, toys and anything and everything else you would find in our house into a giant bomb...and proceeded to ignite it in every room of our house.

I'm completely serious. Things are a disaster around here tonight. It was perfectly clean yesterday, how could this all happen in less than twenty four hours? I'm not even going to lie and tell you that I'm about to clean it all up right now either. And probably not tomorrow. I'm simply running on fumes these past few days and just don't have the energy.

Right now the plan is to take all three kids down to PawPaw Gamma's (that's how Evan refers to my parents' house) and leave Kevin at home. You know. Because he needs some time to himself. Right. Can you hear my eyes rolling around in my head yet? He did say he was willing to clean the house though, so I'm willing to let him have his "alone time".


Anyone remember that Seinfeld episode where George buys Elaine the "big salad" and his girlfriend ends up handing her the salad and accepting the thank you for it? George ended up getting upset because he wanted Elaine to know that he actually purchased it, and not his girlfriend. This happened to me tonight, not with a salad though.

I swear, most things in my life can be referenced to a Seinfeld episode. My dad was rushed to the hospital Sunday night because he thought he was having a stroke. Turns out he was having a diabetic attack (he was not previously diagnosed with diabetes). Those of you that happen to know my dad also know that he l.o.v.e.s his sweets, so this is going to be an extremely difficult adjustment for him. My brother and I went to the store on Tuesday night to pick up some healthy(er) snacks that would fit into his new lifestyle and diet. I ended up spending a hundred dollars on food and also spent another fifty on books and cookbooks at Borders today.

On Tuesday night, my brother called my dad and agreed to go shopping with my parents to help them plan out some meals and get some dietary staples. They made the plans for tonight, so my brother left the house around 3:30 this afternoon. Before leaving, he had also stopped by a bookstore and picked up a cookbook.

I fixed up a really cute gift basket with all of the goodies I had purchased along with the book my brother bought him. Jared said he wanted to take everything down there tonight, which is fine...but I was the one who bought 95% of the stuff it contained and he is going to get all of the praise for it. Hmph. I kind of do and don't care. I did it for my dad and that's all that really matters, but I would have loved to be able to see him rifle through it all and get excited. I secretly want him to know that I bought him the "big salad" and put most of the effort into it. Wow, I probably sound like a major brat. Oh well. It's the thought that counts, right?

The Best and Worst of Both Ends

I would just like to inform you that Evan has been asking to pee in the potty a few times a day and always manages to squeeze something out. This has been going on for about 2 weeks. Well today #2 made it's first appearance. I'll spare you the details, but we are super proud of our big boy!

Here's a poop funny for you...one of Evan's "memorable moments" last week from daycare read as follows: Evan was so cute today. He made us laugh so much! When we asked the kids to get in a line to go outside and play, Evan said "I can't, I'm pooping!" He is so funny.


Now to change the gears from potty talk, Brennan and Carter have had some not so fun times here lately. The poor little guys, I just put two and two together a few days ago when I had a strong suspicion the 24/7 fussiness and crying was due to reflux. We ended up calling the after hours doctor line and the nurse said that's what it sounded like to her too and to make an appointment with our doctor the next day.

I called our pediatrician's office the following morning and talked to a really crabby nurse who claimed I wasn't burping my babies enough. Yeah...whatever! I was so mad, I couldn't even respond to her and promptly called Kevin at work. He called the office and ended up talking to the same nurse and demanded to have an appointment the same day. We ended up getting in :)

Our pediatrician wasn't in, but we were able to see Dr. C, who we've seen a few times before. He believes whole heartedly that they have reflux (poor Brennan's outfit was soaked by the time he made it into the exam room. Our doctor doesn't usually like to give medicine until other options have been ruled out, so knowing this, Dr. C had us switch to a name brand version of the generic formula we were supplementing with. He gave us a whole flat of samples and one can of a ready to feed version in a different variety to have on hand if the first one didn't work out.

We ended up busting out the second kind tonight. The boys were still protesting the name brand version. It is really weird to watch. The kick their feet to get their tiny backs to arch while pulling away from the bottle nipple. They also have a look on their face like you are trying to force feed them poison or something. Oh, and how can I forget the (what seems like) gallons of spit-up?

This kind has rice added into the mixture, which turns to a solid and sits in their bellies a lot better than just pure liquid. They seemed to have tolerated this one a lot better, although they did do the arched back thing a few times during the feeding.

I guess we'll use the rest of that tonight and also some of the breast milk that's in the refrigerator (they don't have too much of problem with that either) and head to the store for more of the second formula. In the mean time, I'm going to pump and nurse my booty off to try and up my supply and get myself closer to keeping up with what they are consuming.

Belated 2 Months

The boys had their two month check-up on Monday. I guess I have little peanuts; Carter weighed 9 pounds 14 ounces (10th percentile) and Brennan weighed 10 pounds 4 ounces (25th percentile). They both got three shots and one oral immunization.

That afternoon was pure bliss as they both slept for about five hours straight. I took some much needed "me time" and spent it goofing off online, watching tv, and sleeping. However, after those five hours elapsed was pure hell. They both woke up screaming their tiny peanut heads off and also had raging fevers. I eventually called Kevin and begged him to blow off the last half hour of work - I needed reinforcements.

Other than that, there's not too much exciting news going on around here. Same stuff, different day.

I took Evan to an independent league baseball game last week. The River City Rascals stadium is only about ten minutes from us, so I decided to try a game out with Ev, we took Uncle Jared with us too. Daddy stayed home to man the zoo.

The first half of the game was interesting, Evan didn't really care to watch even though we had front row seats directly behind home plate. He decided he absolutely needed a small bouncy ball from one of those little quarter machines. That lasted about two innings until it bounced under the row of seats and rolled into the gutter system. That was the end of that.

I then decided to take him up to the concession stand to get something to eat...and get his mind off of that stupid bouncy ball. On our way up the stairs a fell ball literally fell right in front of him. I remember him saying "Oooh, BALL!" as he bent down to pick it up.

The middle portion of the game was alright. We somehow managed to get Evan to watch a little bit and cheer the Rascals on. But soon it started to get late and everything from there was down hill, except the part where he was blissfully eating his chocolate Dippin' Dots of course.

The nice lady behind us apparently thought Uncle Jared was Daddy. She was pointing his direction and saying, "Look, Daddy wants you." Evan looked over and saw someone in the distance who had facial hair like Kevin. He was so tired he was convinced this was his Dad and didn't understand why he wasn't coming over to sit with us. The tears started flowing and the screams of "DADDY! DADDY!" echoed through the stadium. It was time to go.

I don't think we'll be going to a game again for a long time, but Kevin and the grandparents all thought it was really neat that Evan got a foul ball at his first baseball game.

Can I call a time out?

These past few days have been extremely trying for me. The boys have definitely flown right into that oh-so-lovely fussy stage without looking back. Life is complicated and wearing me out.

Both boys have taken a liking to screaming, not crying, any time you aren't holding them. Problem: I only have one set of arms. Solution: There isn't one. This leaves me in quite the pickle on a daily basis. Everyone who comes to visit and witnesses this behavior thanks their lucky stars that they aren't living in this house.

Which brings me to another topic. We are having a house guest for the entire month of September. His name is Jared and he is one of my younger brothers. He is currently in his last year of his pharmacy studies and on his way to becoming a doctor. This entire last year is to be spent in residency, and a new company or job every month. He is usually out in Kansas City with his girlfriend, Ronna. However, this month his residency rotation landed him back in the St. Louis area. Our house is closer to work for him than my mom and dad's so he will be spending most of his time here with us.

I could use the help, quite honestly...so I am excited to have someone who knows how to cook and clean and not afraid/very willing to help out when needed. And boy do we need it!

This weekend we spent a lot of time getting the finished part of the basement into a bedroom-ish type of space. We have put a mini fridge with freezer down there, he has a large flat screen tv, couch, very nice desk, and a bed with trundle (in case his girlfriend decides to come into town and stay). We also put together Evan's big boy room. Very cute! I will try to add some pics to this post once I find the time to download them from my camera. It is bear/camp themed.

Kevin is pretty excited because the twin bed headboard and dresser set are his from when he was younger. It actually goes with the motif quite well. He is currently sleeping in the big boy bed and went down without an inkling of a fight! If I weren't too tired to do or feel anything right now, I would probably be overwhelmed with joy. Instead I am just relieved to have a moment to unwind all to myself.

Tomorrow I must catch up on laundry and clean out Evan's bathroom and bathtub of all toys, etc. We are almost out of clean towels. Ha, I don't actually expect anyone to care about that last part, unless you have to smell any of us if we do happen to run out, just kind of thinking in print.

Hallelujah for having all three babies in bed at a decent hour for once! Oh heavenly silence, I welcome you!

So..yeah...that birth story!

Here ya go!

I had a c-section scheduled for 9:30 a.m. on July 6th. I had a pretty decent holiday weekend before that. Mom and dad came to the house and we grilled some brats, had strawberry shortcake and ice cream, etc. We live in a pretty pyromaniac-ish town, so fortunately every year some neighbors a few streets in front of our house have huge firework display battles. Each house tries to out-do their neighbors and it all ends up just as good as going to a city sponsored fireworks show - all from the comfort of our home and driveway. I was so miserable there was no way I could have gone anywhere, so this worked out great!

Monday morning rolled around and we had to be at the hospital an hour before my surgery time. Kevin had dropped Evan off at Nonna's (grandma) house the night before to make things easier on us. I slept surprisingly well and was actually quite relaxed when it came time to make the trip down the hall and into the operating room.

Kevin waited outside while the anesthesiologist did her thing and then was brought into the room so the surgery could begin. I have to say, in retrospect it was a weird experience. I'm not sure if the power of my mind did this, or if it was an effect of the drugs, but I was super calm and the whole day is quite foggy.

I remember Dr. K asking if I could feel anything and after answering no, she proceeded to make the incision. Fourteen minutes later Brennan Michael was born at 9:44 weighing 6 pounds and 6 ounces and measured 19.7 inches long. A minute later at 9:45 Carter Matthew entered this world and weighed in at 6 pounds and 1 ounce, measuring longer than his (slightly) older brother at an astounding 20.5 inches.

I very distinctly remember hearing their first squeals (no, they were not cries) and I remember saying that I must have given birth to little baby pigs. I peeked over to the nurses and saw that I had adorable baby boys instead, thankfully. I also recall one of them peeing while Dr. K was handing him to a nurse - right over my sterile field and open belly. Thank goodness pee is sterile, although I'm not sure if any of it actually landed inside of me.

They ended up suctioning more than five pounds of fluid from me while on the table. The nurses were quite shocked. I remember asking them if that was a lot and they all replied with a resounding yes.

I couldn't really hear what the staff was saying while I was in surgery, but I could hear them talking. I later found out that my blood pressure was really high. My doctor attributed it to me being nervous about surgery, but also commented on how calm I seemed. Somewhere along the line they also found that my uric acid levels were elevated. If you don't know where this is going, they found out I was pre-eclamptic while on the operating table.

I was wheeled into a recovery room and barely remember any of this part. Grandparents came to visit and later that evening I was sent to a postpartum room. It was HUGE! Much better than my tiny little shoebox of a room that I had when Evan was born. I guess they had sympathy on me for getting two babies at once. We definitely needed the space.

The nursing staff continued to check my blood pressure and it was almost never anywhere near a good level. Later that week after my levels never dropped, I was placed on some medicine to help stabilize it.

We came home that Friday morning and I am happy to report that at 7 or so weeks later, I feel great! The boys are growing and putting on weight, although they had a rocky start due to some breastfeeding/letdown issues. I am now almost exclusively pumping, but am unable to keep up with what they are consuming. They get all mommy's milk during the day and formula for two to three bottles at night.

I am SO glad I didn't have the twins as my first pregnancy, otherwise we probably would have stopped with them. It has been a much easier adjustment since we already knew what to expect (although not multiplied by two!) and we are settling into our new life with our wonderful family.

My Poor Neglected Blog

Sorry, Mr. Blog. You have been severely neglected. Life is extremely busy with two new ones in the family. My mom is here for the rest of this week. She will leave for the weekend and go back home - she is taking Evan with her to see his PawPaw (and to give me a break). We kept him home from daycare on Tuesday so that he could be in some of our newborn pictures that we had scheduled. I won't be doing that anytime soon by myself OR with someone here. It was a mess all day. I definitely could NOT have handled it if Mom weren't here, and even then we were having a hard time.

I hope to post their birth story soon (when I have time - so look for that one in about two years). Sometime within my last week of pregnancy I had developed pre-e, so I am on blood pressure meds for the time being as well.

I promise, promise, promise I will try to update soon and with some pictures of the big day!

Recent Happenings

Sorry (again)...I've been a crappy blogger lately. I have had a lot of nothingness going on that has kept me somewhat busy. If that makes sense.

Since I've last updated, I've had a few routine doctor appointments and two trips into Labor & Delivery. Both times the contractions were close but were eventually stopped/slowed since I was not dilating any further.

Currently, I am 1.5 cm dilated and 50% effaced. My gut tells me these kiddos are going to hang on until the bitter end. July 6th can't get here soon enough! I think I've come to terms with having a c-section. I'm definitely not excited about it, but I know it is the best decision for my little guys. I'd hate if anything were to happen to them because I was stubborn. Dr. K is still willing to give it a try if that's what I really want, but the slight risk of it all doesn't sit well with me.

My weekly biophysicals have been going really well. They pass so easily, which makes me happy since the odds are that they will be just fine when they are born.

I want to take a quick second to say congrats to my online twin sister, Lindsay. She recently gave birth to her boy/girl duo and I can't wait to see pictures of them! I think we've become pretty close in the past few months even though we are literally states apart. We have so much in common that it's almost unbelievable. Congrats again, Lindsay!

In other news, there is a grandparent war going on in our household. Each week we get asked by Kevin's parents and my parents if they can watch Evan for the weekend. We finally put our foot down and kept him last week - considering it was Father's Day weekend and all! Anyway, both sides are sprouting some serious jealousy issues over who gets to see him more. LOL Every time I talk to my dad on the phone he has to "double-check" and ask/make sure who is actually watching Evan when we will be in the hospital with the twins.

Dad, please stop asking...it still hasn't changed. Sorry, you live an hour away and not in the direction of the hospital, not to mention you would have to take four days off of work (even though I'm sure you wouldn't mind). Kevin's parents are only 20 minutes away and the live right along the way to the hospital...and can take off from work at the drop of a hat. I regret to inform you that you will never win this one - but you are more than welcome to come and spend a few days here with mom while she is off work and helping us get adjusted to our new family/lifestyle. I'm sure Evan would love coming home from school to see his PawPaw sitting on his couch!

Make Up Your Mind Already!

Dr. K is out of town this week on vacation with her family. I thought I had an appointment today with one of her associates, Dr. L. I was wrong...the appointment is really tomorrow, but the receptionist took one look at my massive belly and asked another associate if he could see me this morning so I wouldn't have to make another trip in. Dr. J was nice enough to oblige - I really like him and remembered seeing him once in L&D when I was pregnant with Evan.

Everything looks great still. I've been having TONS of pain when I walk, get up, roll over, etc. As it turns out, the pubic bone is actually two bones and at this point when baby is head down and entering the pelvis, these bones begin to separate and move with the associating hip joint. I somewhat remember experiencing these pains with Evan, but never this bad.

Not only are there two babies in there (more weight), but it turns out that our "active" baby B has still not made up his mind. For now, he has decided to take a liking to the head down position like his brother. Yeah, that's two heads pressing down into my pelvis now - super fun!

Dr. J did an internal exam on me just to double check the pain I was feeling and followed with some words that made me excited and annoyed at the same time. "There's no change in your cervix." Hmm, don't get me wrong, I am really happy with the fact that the odds are holding strong of these boys staying in there for a while longer and I will have healthy, big, and happy babies. But, really...all this pain and no change?

Dr. J had some great words of wisdom to end the appointment with: "You are important to us, but let's be honest, those babies are what are really matters at this point!". Keep hanging in there babies, mom's pain is not in vain and it will all be worth it!

Not a Whole Lot

I don't have much to write about right now. I went in for my biophysical profiletoday. We got a really super nice ultrasound tech this time and ended up with a ton of adorable pictures of the boys. I think she was having fun and playing around most of the time, but who knows. Both boys passed with flying colors. Their breathing was awesome, much faster than last week!

The ultrasounds are really starting to hurt though. I'm not sure if it is because my belly is so big and my skin is stretched so far already or what. But, man...I did not feel good at all when Kevin and I left. It actually irritated my uterus and was giving me some pretty strong contractions. I ended up having to take one of my terbutaline pills. I am still shaky from it.

I also had to stop by the lab and have my blood drawn to check my thyroid again. By this time I was ridiculously tired and could barely stay awake.

It is safe to say that I am not feeling well at all today. :(

Maybe It Isn't So...

I had my weekly appointment with Dr. K today. Both babies look fantastic and despite how rundown I feel, everything is pretty much going great - all things considered. Still having contractions on and off, but I don't even bother paying attention to them unless I've had them for two hours with no signs of slowing (I know, shame on me!). I am measuring 50 weeks and am scheduled for another biophysical profile tomorrow to assess the babies' breathing abilities again.

These boys have flipped so much, that for a while now I have given up about obsessing over how they will be delivered. However, there is a growing chance that I will be able to attempt a natural birth again. According to Dr. K, at this point it is highly unlikely that they will make any drastic shifts until they are born. That being said, A is presenting and didn't look like he was going anywhere - he's pretty good and settled into my pelvis. B is still transverse, but Dr. K mentioned this was a favorable position for him to be in since most of the time the transverse baby will flip to vertex after baby A has been delivered.

At this point I'm not going to get my hopes up and begin thanking my lucky stars. In my experience, when I get really excited things are starting to look in my favor, that's when the situation takes a turn for the worse. I am still leaving their delivery in God's hands, fate, whatever you want to call it.

Next week Dr. K is out of the office, so these babies need to stay put for at least two more weeks. Coincidentally, when my dad came to drop Evan off this after spending the weekend with my parents, he took one look at me and proclaimed, "I give you two weeks!" My dad is a very intuitive guy, so I'm now curious if he had a bizarre dream that is leading him to this conclusion. He usually ends up being right. I guess only time will tell...

Change is in the Air

Evan has been a really good boy at home lately and when we have to go out to run some errands. However, at school this is beginning to become a different story. Yesterday when Kevin went to pick him up, Evan's teachers gave us a little insight as to how his days have been going lately.

We knew he had been going through a hitting phase at home and at school for a little while a few months ago. We thought we had worked through it and resolved all of the underlying issues. There was a little girl in Evan's way and she wouldn't move. Ev proceeded to hit her over and over and over. The poor little girl stood her ground (good for her!) and didn't budge an inch. Evan didn't hit her hard enough to make her cry or even leave red marks, but it is still disturbing behavior none-the-less.

He went into the corner for a few minutes and got an explanation of why it isn't nice to hit friends. His teachers think he is beginning to realize that something major is about to change; he hasn't really ever acted out that bad in the past, but I guess it is becoming a little more frequent. There are also a few pretty big changes going on within his classroom as well that could possibly be contributing factors: his best friend was just transitioned to the two year old room and his other BFF is leaving school for the summer since his mother is a teacher. That leaves him with only one of his good buddies.

We are trying our best to process this and make things go a little easier for Ev, but it is hard to judge how much of what we are telling him about his new brothers he is truly understanding. When you ask him where they are, he will lift up his shirt and show you his belly. He does give them kisses on my stomach when you ask him to, so I guess that is good?

I have to admit, the closer we get to D-day, the more nervous I get about the whole big picture. I have my moments where saying things out loud or even in my head sends me into a weird "I can't believe I'm having two babies" panic. And then to hear that Evan might not be handling this very well already is only adding to the stress.

I haven't been sleeping well at night. I'm seriously contemplating moving myself out to the recliner during the night. Sleeping in my own bed is proving to be extremely painful and restless and my general state of being has hit an all time low in this pregnancy. I have already decided no more trips out to the stores and not even down to my parents' house where it is easy for me to relax. It is all just too much for my body to handle.

On a lighter note, I had my first biophysical profile on Wednesday. It was a modified version, so they didn't really do a whole lot of "stuff". The tech made sure their fluid levels were still good, measured the heart beats and watched to see that both of them were using their lungs to practice breathing. It was really neat to see their little bellies expanding and contracting!

My Little Smunchkin

It's been a while since I've written about my son, so I figured I would tell you all about our day yesterday, even though it was pretty uneventful. I had a weekly appointment at my OB's office and after that we had a few errands to run. Kevin and I decided to pick up our little bug from school about an hour and a half early so we wouldn't have to drive back out of our way later to get him. After Kevin gets Ev situated in his car seat he hands me his stack of art work and daily report card. I glance down the activity and it seems like he had a pretty fun day. Wait, what's all this writing in the corner?

Someone decided he was really tired that day and couldn't stay awake for lunch! He fell asleep on his little cot while the other kids happily munched their food. When Kevin walked in the classroom to get him, the kids were still on their cots enjoying some quiet time - it was 3 o'clock in the afternoon! And there sat our Evan, minding his own business and "reading" a book.

We decided he was probably starving considering he hadn't had anything to eat since his morning snack around 10:30, so we stopped at Sonic and got him a kids' meal of a grilled cheese sandwich, a banana, and milk. He ate nearly the whole meal, poor little guy!

We had some things to return/exchange quickly at a few nearby stores, and I have to say I was quite impressed with the way Evan was behaving. He sat in the cart without making a fuss and was in a really good mood the entire time. Kevin even heard one mom comment on how she wishes her kid was good and would sit still in the cart like he was.

We came home and had a really good night of playing on Mom and Dad's bed, giggling, snacking, and enjoying eachothers' company. It was one of those moments I wish I could freeze in time and always keep with me. I'm really starting to enjoy this stage in his life, it is so much fun. He is becoming such a cool, smart, and exciting little boy and I can't wait to see how he is with his brothers.

Really Quick Update

I had my growth scan this morning, A is 3 pounds, 9 ounces and B is 3 pounds, 6.4 ounces. One of the boys is breech and going diagonal across my belly, the other is transverse with his little spine tucked up under my ribs on my right side. I can assure you that although this position may be comfortable to him, it isn't for me. Their heads are butted up right next to each other and it looks like they are sharing ideas and plotting against me already ;)

It Is (Somewhat) Written

Had my weekly appointment this morning, things are still looking good. The twins are definitely starting to reside in cramped quarters, just how big I'm not sure. Dr. K didn't measure my belly this week. I'm thankful in a way, those numbers are getting scary to hear out loud.

One of the kiddos is jammed in there all kinds of weird. Both are breech at this point, but one of them is curled off to the side and over the other like a "C". The other one is straight up and down. At this point Dr. K isn't too hopeful for a natural delivery (I was beginning to come to terms with this anyway). I suppose there is still time for one to turn, though it doesn't look likely at this point.

I have also come to realize that odds are I will probably make it to 38 weeks. Yay and boo! I want them to stay in as long as possible so they can be at their healthiest and hopefully come home right away, but honestly, I'm not sure how much more I can take of this.

Another upside to making it to my 38 week c-section date: no labor! How awesome would that be? I guess that will give me something to look forward to besides healthy boys.

I go tomorrow for another growth ultrasound. I'm anxious to see how much my little stinkers weigh now. I also have biophysical profiles set up each week until I deliver, just to make sure the boys are maturing and developing as they should and without any problems or complications.

My sister-in-law threw me a sprinkle this last Saturday. It was really nice and tons more than I ever expected. I was totally envisioning just walking into Kevin's mom's basement to find tables, chairs, food, and people. She had everything looking super cute. Everyone who came was waaay generous and we received a ton of adorable and useful things.

I'm pretty sure there is no earthly way that the boys can possibly wear every single article of clothing hanging in their closet. There is quite literally not another space for even one more clothes hanger. I'm actually having to order size organizer tag thingies to separate the sizes - there is that little room - and the only sizes hanging up are Newborn to 6-9 months!

We have diapers coming out of our ears it seems, but that is definitely a good thing! I don't want to even think about how much money we will drop on these their first year of life. I really hope breastfeeding works out better this time too. I'm pretty sure the failures with Evan were some underlying medical issues and the stresses and pressure of having our first baby, all of which are under control now. Can you imagine the formula costs for twins? We were spending a ton on just one when Ev was a baby, enough for a small monthly car payment.

Oops!

Sorry, I never updated last week...and I can't even use the excuse that I was too busy. I went back for another ultrasound to check my cervical length and to check out the fluid level on one of my little buddies. I'm glad to report that everything checked out fine, and all in all it was a great appointment.

I didn't get to meet with Dr. P again, he was pretty busy that day, so I saw someone else in his practice. The good news: I don't have to go back to the MFM office unless some other type of complication surfaces. The ultrasound tech, after measuring my cervix, said I was still measuring 4 cm and that I was "meant to have 'em" (kids that is). That's right, fort cervix is holding strong, the contractions are doing nothing to shorten it.

So it appeared that one of my guys flipped around yet again, so as of this moment in time we are again looking at a natural delivery, not surgery (yay!). But, as I know...things change and these little dudes have minds of their own already.

Mother's Day was pretty good. Kevin got the necklace that I had been oogling from Etsy.com. It is a bird nest with three little eggs in it. So cute! He also got me a bunch of those Willowtree figurine things that you can find at the Hallmark store - a whole family! There's Kevin and I, Evan holding his doggy, and of course the 2 soon-to-be newest additions.

At school Evan planted me some sort of a plant, not sure what it is still. But he even painted the pot for me. Kevin gave this to me early on Friday night because he was worried about killing it before Sunday rolled around. Evan also gave me a cute poem with both of his hand prints on it and a picture of my cute little bug with sunglasses on. School was even nice enough to laminate it.

We met Grandma and PawPaw Saturday morning for breakfast at Cracker Barrel. Poor Ev was starving when we got there. When the neighboring table's food was brought he was eyeing them up for a bite or two. Thankfully their backs were to us and they didn't notice his sad puppy eyes. He did stare the waitress down though. As soon as our food came he dove right into a biscuit and his apples and guzzled his chocolate milk.

After breakfast we drove to Toys R Us to finish up bringing his new swingset back to their house, it took two trips. PawPaw isn't too thrilled, apparently the instruction book says it will take twenty to thirty hours to put together! I guess I know where Kevin is going when mom and I will be at my sprinkle next weekend.

We ended up staying the night down there and Evan had a blast feeding the cows and swimming - he's such a fish! Only now we have to really keep our eyes on him - he knows how to climb into the hot tub all by himself! Scary! The plan is to have a real swimming pool installed by next summer, hopefully.

Hmm...

I don't have a whole lot to say. Yesterday was another routine check-up. Both boys look great, still breech. I'm officially a beached whale, measuring in at 42 weeks already! Dr. K told me it was time to schedule my c-section (I'm still hoping these boys decide to cooperate and turn south...) and that she'd have Nurse Terry call me when she gets it set up with the hospital. I received a call back before I even made it home.

It looks like their birthday will be July 6th, unless they have other plans. Surgery is scheduled for 9:30 a.m. Please pray that I don't freak out on the poor nurse and doctor like I did a few years ago at my spinal tap. I told her the odds were pretty high that she'd have to give me something to calm me down beforehand.

This past weekend we traded in our Honda Pilot for a Honda Odyssey. I never thought I'd be driving a mini van, but honestly it is already so much easier - even with just one kiddo. It has a ton of cool features our old vehicle didn't, so that's kind of exciting, right? Okay probably not, but it does take the edge off of the "holy crap, I drive a mini van" embarrassment.

Kevin told me it was an early birthday (which by the way is tomorrow) present. Thanks, babe. I feel it is important to note that last bit there was completely sarcastic - definitely NOT what I wanted as a "gift". Good try though, Kev. I'll be expecting my beautifully wrapped package with gigantic bow on my pillow upon awakening ;) And it had better be good, you owe me! Kidding of course, I'm not really in the celebrating mood lately, more like the "someone put me out of my misery" mood...just really uncomfortable. The swelling has started too, super fun! But hey, on the brighter side, I'll take any excuse to eat an extra piece of cake!

More Doctors Appointments

Yesterday I had an appointment for a growth ultrasound and immediately after was scheduled to see a specialist in Maternal and Fetal Health. Apparently he is the head honcho for difficult/complicated pregnancies up at Missouri Baptist Hospital and his practice is in the same office where I get my level II ultrasounds. I'm in good hands no doubt with the team of doctors I've got behind me since both are associated with the hospital itself. They are on the same page as far as treating things and being aggressive when they feel the need is there. That alone is enough to make me as comfortable as I physically can be this pregnancy.

The ultrasound went off without a hitch. Both boys look fantastic and are growing like they should be - and believe it or not they are only an ounce apart in size (pretty rare in identical twins)! One was 2 lbs, 4.9 oz. and the other was 2 lbs, 3.9 oz. Fluid levels were looking pretty good as well, but there is more on that subject later.

Like I said, our appointment (according to Dr. K's office) was supposed to be immediately after our ultrasound. I had the tech show me where to go and we sat in the small waiting room. We ran into the triplet mama from our multiples class in the waiting room and chatted it up for a while. She lives just a few minutes from us, so I'm thinking tonight at class I might ask for her email or phone number or something.

We ended up waiting in the waiting room for three hours before seeing the Dr! We were pretty irritated at the office staff since no one let us know what was going on or why it was taking so long. But when we finally met with Dr. P, we didn't mind waiting that long. He is an AWESOME doctor and extremely thorough. I came out of the appointment much more educated on things.

According to him, this twins pregnancy (mono/di) is one the most challenging multiple pregnancies because of the many complications associated with it. At this point he has pretty much ruled out many of them, but let us know that there is still time for these things to happen. Intrauterine growth restriction (where the fetus falls behind in growth/weight), twin to twin transfer syndrome (when one baby gets more blood flow from the shared placenta, making that baby much bigger than the other, has many risks along with it), birth defects, the list goes on.

We aren't out of the woods so to speak on any of these, but given my latest ultrasound report, things appear to be good for now. One baby had a slightly high level of fluids, so I am going back in two weeks to monitor that and also get another measure on cervical length. I will also be meeting with Dr. P again "immediately" after.

I found out on Monday that I passed my glucose tolerance test with flying colors, but I failed the hematocrit test. I am slightly anemic at this point, so I am now taking a slow release iron supplement.

According to Dr. P, with anemia it is common to have decreased levels of Folic Acid, so he gave me a script for a folic acid/b6/b12 combination. I just received a phone call from his office that Walgreens won't fill the prescription because my insurance won't cover it. Insurance won't cover it because it has the b6 and b12 in it and those are over the counter supplements. However, the Folic Acid would still require a prescription. See what's going on here? What a joke!

I'm thinking of just paying out of pocket for it, if it isn't too expensive. By the time I purchase a bottle of the two b vitamins and have to pay for the prescription of just Folic Acid, we might end up being at or above the cost of the meds anyway - and I really don't want to add 3 more pills to my arsenal.

Overall the day went okay yesterday. I am super excited to have Dr. P behind me and my babies. I know he will take great care of us!

Hormones & Hamburgers

Friday turned out to be an interesting day in my world. I woke up that morning knowing I was going to have to leave pretty early to have my Gestational Diabetes/Glucose Tolerance test. It was difficult to work in logistics wise because of the medicine I have to take, also I didn't want to starve myself longer than necessary.

I got to the lab around 9:45 and was given my glucola drink and finished it at 10:05. That would put my blood draw at 11:05 - just in time for lunch! While I was waiting that long hour, there was a dad that came in with his son who looked to be about 16 months or so. I almost couldn't contain myself when they brought him back to the room for his sample. The poor little guy was screaming and crying so loud, I remember having to do this with Evan at about the same age. So there I was, sitting in the waiting room, looking through the glass windows into where the little boy was being tortured...yeah, I started to tear up a little bit. It was then I had a feeling this was going to be an out of the ordinary day.

After I'm finished with my test, I made my way out to the car and immediately called Kevin. I was hungry and the nurse told me she would prefer I eat something right away. Turns out Kevin had just asked a co-worker if he had wanted anything for lunch and that he would go and pick it up. Kevin suggested we go through the drive thru, bring co-worker back his food and eat in the lunch room at work. No thanks, I've been VERY anti-social lately. I'm tired of hearing the same old questions and just don't feel well. We decide to drop the guy's food off and head out to a parking lot to eat in our car (we used to do this a lot when I was working).

We had just pulled out of the driveway after dropping off co-worker's food. All of the sudden Kevin wondered if he had given him the right burger (he and Kev ordered the same thing...a double with just cheese. I had ordered a single with the works). I quickly check the bag and discover that my sandwich is in fact gone. Nice, thanks Kev! He turns around and runs back into work, grabs the sandwich and makes his way back out to the car.

Yeah, this is the part that I start to flip out. I open up my burger and notice the toppings had been scraped off and put back on. First of all, Kev works for a construcion type business - very dirty, even in the office. It was clear this guy used his hands to "get the job done" on MY burger. If you didn't know...this pregnancy I've been very weird about drinking and eating after people, including my husband and son. I just can't do it. So you can imagine what was going through my head at the thought of dirty hands touching all over the insides of my food. There was no way in hell I was eating it. I didn't make a huge deal of it right away, but did express my disappointment. I was going to be perfectly happy eating my fries and drinking my drink. I would just grab something with my parents a little later (I was about to meet them to pick up Evan from school so they could take him to lunch).

Kevin started yelling at me, he didn't understand what the big deal was. My hugely pregnant self took great offense to his harsh words and began to sob while sitting in the car. I couldn't even look at him I was so irritated. One of the pitfalls of my husband is that he doesn't know when the time is right to shut his mouth. This was the time. Did he stop? Nope. He kept on with it and said "FINE - don't eat it!" To which I yellled, "I wasn't planning on it!!" while slamming the sandwich into the floorboard of the car. More waterworks, just more intense this time, and they wouldn't stop.

It was as if someone else was inside my body making me do and say these things (technically I guess there are two ;) ). I immediately felt great remorse for making such a scene and said that I was sorry, Kev also profusely apologized. He ended up going back into the same restaurant and ordering me a whole new burger, what a sweetheart! I think my eyes were red and swollen for the rest of the day.

*sigh*

I had another OB appointment yesterday. It was all pretty routine...check the heartbeats and fluid on the ultrasound, measure my belly, ask questions. Next week I have another growth ultrasound and will see the MFM right after it, so we'll see what he has to say. As of this week I will be having appointments once a week for the remainder of this pregnancy.

I don't know what to think about these boys...A is always kicking the crap out of me, but has not once changed positions, he's always been head down. B is usually the more quiet of the two, but that little stinker started out breech, flipped to head down, and just within the past few days has flipped back around to breech again. Dr. K says I have about 2 weeks left for him to change positions again if I'm hoping to get through this without a c-section, otherwise there won't be enough room to wiggle around. I'm slowly coming to terms with the fact that this will probably require surgery. :/

In other news, I think I've hit a brick wall. It is becoming increasingly difficult to breathe and nights are becoming more and more restless. My arms fall asleep, my neck hurts, my back acts up. And then there's the hunger. I've been having to get up in the middle of the night to eat a snack and drink water because I get so ravenous. Oh, and how could I forget about the impending doom of heartburn. I think I might need to upgrade drugs to prevacid instead of zantac, it just doesn't cut it anymore.

Sorry, this post is fully of gripes and complaints but that is honestly how I feel right now.

Bragging Rights

I just have to brag quickly that Evan entered his first contest ever a few weeks ago. Grandma picked up a coloring page from her local grocery store and Evan absolutely loved coloring it in. In fact, he loved it so much that he did not want to give it up.

Grandma and PawPaw finally distracted him enough to make him forget about it and Grandma turned it back into the store a few days later. Today my mom was off of work since it is Good Friday. Early this morning she received a call telling her that my talented little guy had won a prize. That's right, I know you're all jealous. Okay, probably not, but it did make me swell with pride.

He didn't win first place (a $25 savings bond) but he did win a really cute stuffed Easter bunny. I think he ended up getting third place. I think it will be neat to take a picture of him with his coloring page and bunny for his scrapbook.


We finished the twins' nursery last night. I'm very excited about how it turned out. I might post pics later if I can find the time this weekend.


Today Evan's school was closed, so I've been super busy trying to take care of him while not neglecting my situation. It's really hard! I've been slacking on the water intake today. Anywho, we did an Easter project this morning. We made the grandparents cards using his handprint to make a bunny and on the inside using his footprint to make a baby chick. I will try to take pics and post them as well. They turned out absolutely adorable.

I hope everyone has a great holiday weekend!

Every Word Is The Truth

I have recently made this blog private, and for several reasons. In a moment of non-clarity I posted the link in a little box under my profile picture on Facebook, thinking not a lot of people would really see it. Over the last week or two I've noticed more traffic on this blog and quite honestly it freaked me out. The first thing I did was take my link on Facebook down - there are way too many people I am "friends" with that I'd prefer not read the details of my girly goods, etc. Why is it always easier to share with people you don't really know? Also, I found that family was passing word along of how I was "doing" or "feeling" based on what I post here. I tell the truth in every single post, but I don't add in every detail or give updates every minute, hour, or even day. That's not why I started this blog. Who knows, perhaps sometime in the future I will make it public again.

I am keeping track of details for myself. I am ashamed to admit that I have no written records from when I was pregnant with Evan or even his first year and a half of growing up in this world. Even though those memories are somewhat fresh, I realize that I will lose those special details in my head over time. I don't even have his baby book started since every picture from birth to three months is on a computer that isn't working at the moment. You can't really start it beginning with month four, right?

Anyway, since I've now stated the purpose of this blog, I'd like to add a few details that I haven't written or posted about on here yet, some of you will find that you already know these details, but I don't want to forget these things.


A week to the day before we found out about the two little miracles in my belly, I had posted on a forum for moms. The topic of that post read, "Be honest, does it look like there should be two of them in there?" and then contained a picture of my belly at 18 weeks. It is quite safe to say I felt like a cow (and now we know why). Of course everyone who replied was nice and assured me that I looked great. I have come to the conclusion that these girls are a bunch of very supportive liars! They did it for my own good and sanity, no one wants to here that they really are huge. It's quite funny in retrospect.

It might have been that same afternoon, I don't remember the exact day...but sometime around the event mentioned above I was cooking dinner and cracked open an egg. I looked down, and to my surprise that egg contained TWO yolks! They even had the appearance of being fertilized, even though that would be highly unlikely considering the living arrangements of hens that are being utilized for egg production, but I digress.

Also, a few weeks before our surprise I made a same day appointment with my OB for pains I was having in my pelvis. I suspected it was round ligament pain, but couldn't remember having it that early with Evan, so I went in to get checked out. While I was there, Dr. K was having a hard time keeping the heartbeat on the doppler long enough to calculate the beats per minute. She would lock in on it, only to find that in about two seconds it seemed like the baby was moving and rolling around and she would quickly lose track of it. She went from one side of my stomach to the other repeating this chain of events about five or six times. It was actually quite comical and we were both giggling wondering what my little baby was up to. Hind sight really is 20/20, isn't it?

Something else I don't want to forget...it was the Sunday after we found out about our twins and I was attending the bridal shower of a younger cousin. My mom felt it would be good to wait and tell our relatives the news in person, so I obliged. There were only a few of us there at the time since we were getting the room set up. My Aunt Janet (John's Janet - there are two Janets on that side of the family) had asked me when I was due. For those of you that don't know this particular Janet, or my weido family for that matter, some of us have really strange things, feelings, visions, dreams, what have you, including myself and also my father. Bizarre circumstances always seem to unfold, call it what you want. When I explained my new circumstances and shared my story with her, you could see that look come across her face.

She had just had a flashback to when I was probably somewhere around a year old and crawling around on the floor playing. She was pregnant at the time and was talking with my Grandpa about how she was scared she was carrying twins. (Remember they didn't have the technology we do nowadays, so she really had no clue.) According to her, my Grandpa reassured her that she only had one baby in there...and then pointed to me crawling and playing on the floor and said, "Nope, Diddles is the one that will have twins!" For the record, I'm Diddles...that was and still is my nickname in our family. It was deemed apon me when I was a teeny little baby (again) crawling around on the floor and babbling "diddle diddle diddle" everywhere I went.

My Grandpa passed away in August of 1996 and I still think about him all the time. When my Aunt told me that story it comforted me greatly (and also gave me chills/freaked me out). In some weird way it makes me feel like he chose me to carry on this family trait - his father was an identical twin, as are two of his sons, one of them happening to be my father. It's just something that makes me feel closer to him even though I know he isn't alive anymore. Just reliving that story in my mind makes me smile.

I Never Thought I'd Say...

I never thought I'd say that I have a super cervix, but apparently I do! Went to see Dr. K again today, both boys have stayed head down (and they'd better if they know what's good for them!) and are looking fabulous. She checked out my ultrasound report from the Women's and Fetal Health Office and said everything appears great. She then kept reading down the report and got all excited, "Wow, your cervix is 4 cm! That is REALLY good, even for just one baby. If things continue to look this good hopefully those babies will be just fine - as long as we can keep these contractions under control."

So, there you have it - I have a super cervix. I can't lie, it made me really excited to see her so happy about it and let me know that at least that part of my body is holding up. Nobody's getting out, that sucker's on lockdown.

She is referring me to an MFM over at the Women's and Fetal Health Office just to double check everything and make sure I get to know him if things begin to take a turn for the worse. Also, this week I am 24 weeks along, however my belly says I am almost term for a singleton. Yep, I'm measuring a rather large 36 weeks! No wonder Kevin has to put my shoes on for me already.

We also start our Multiples class tomorrow. I hope it doesn't scare the crap out of me. Okay, honestly I hope they don't show us that wretched birth video like they did in birthing class *gag*. I have a feeling my luck just ran out though.

First Growth Ultrasound

I had my first growth ultrasound last Friday. Both boys are doing excellent! Baby A's estimated weight is 1 pound and 5 ounces. Baby B's estimated weight is 1 pound 5.9 ounces. A is apparently the wild one (I had a feeling all along). He was constantly kicking his brother and rolling around. We STILL don't have all of the measurements on him, but the tech will keep trying each time we go in. B is my stubborn little guy, but I think he puts up with a lot from his brother already. He finally moved from being stretched out across my belly and into the head down position! Now we just have to hope and pray that neither one of them decides to move around too much, the thought of a C-section freaks me out.

Kevin and I ventured out for a little while on Saturday. We are almost done stocking the nursery with baby essentials. We purchased matching onesies to bring them home in. They are baby blue and say "all good things come in two's" - nothing too extravagant. Kevin also thought it would be a good idea to bring them home in two different colored pairs of socks to make it easier to tell them apart. I guess he thinks the hospital bracelets are coming off right away?

I have another appointment with Dr. K tomorrow, so we'll see what she says about my recent L&D activity and if she will have me see an MFM. I'm still getting contractions frequently and am having to continue the Terbutaline pills to keep them at bay. The good news though, is that the L&D OB added on an order for a cervical length check to my growth ultrasound. Things look really good and it is measuring 40 mm. The L&D OB said 30 was a good number, so that makes me even more happy.

I hope to update soon on what happens at my appointment tomorrow.

Slight Complications

So yesterday as I was getting up to get Evan ready for school I started feeling like I was having slight contractions and period-like cramps. I didn't really think too much about it, as my round ligament pain is always in full-force after getting up. After Kevin and Evan left for the day, I got back into bed since the pains had not subsided.

Fast forward to around 10:30 when Kevin called to check in on me, he had no idea what was going on. Deep down I was pretty concerned, but I have to be careful when I tell things like this to Kevin because he has a tendency to get overly worked up and brings more stress to the situation. He told me to call the Dr's office, I was thinking of the same thing.

I called in to speak with Dr. K's nurse...only she wasn't there, and neither was Dr. K. Yep, they are both on vacation this week. The receptionist took my information and told me to get back into bed and she would call back in an hour to check on me. As my crappy luck would have it, on Wednesdays they close at 1. In the meantime, Kevin was on his way home and bringing me some lunch.

I scarfed down my Taco Bell and we proceeded to talk about what the plan of action was going to be. The contractions weren't super strong and they were actually pretty difficult to time because they were often masked by constant dull cramping. The Dr's office called back and asked how I was feeling - not any better, so she requested that I make an appearance to Labor & Delivery.

Of course I hadn't showered yet for the day, so I hop in quickly (although Kevin thinks it was not so quickly) and get ready to go. CRAP - what about Evan?? Will we be done in time to pick him up from school? We decided to play it safe and dropped his car seat of at Kevin's parents just to be sure.

We get to the hospital and they hook me up to the monitors...at first I had one huge contraction, made the machine go beep crazy and both nurses looked up in surprise. Then things started to calm down. The contractions were in no way earth shattering, but they were definitely showing up on the monitor...and every three minutes! Holy crap, good thing I went in, right? So they make me do the pee in a cup thing, checked that out and it all came back fine. At this point there were still a few people in front of me to see the Dr.

The nurses come back in holding a lovely surprise that I spied right away - a needle. I ended up getting a shot of Terbutaline to stop the contractions. It worked really well, but made me feel like I just ran a marathon or guzzled down 5 cups of coffee. It made my heart race and gave me the shakes. They hooked me back up to the monitors just to make sure it was working properly and everything looked good. At this point, I was hoping to go home.

An interesting fact about Terbutaline, it only lasts about an hour when you get the shot, so they needed to keep me at least another hour to make sure the contractions had subsided for good. An hour goes by and slowly but surely the contractions creep their way back onto the monitor. The nurse comes back in and gives me the oral version of the drug via pill.

At this point the Dr. comes in and is explaining things and got to use her niftly speculum (yay for me, right?!?) Everything looked good on that front and she aslo did a Fetal Febernectin Test, which also came back negative.

So the consensus is that my body isn't handling this pregnancy well already. She told me to pretty much turn myself into a sloth and also mentioned "it's as if your body has been invaded by two little aliens...and they are literally sucking the life out of you." Nice, right? At least she had a sense of humor. Actually I REALLY liked this Dr. She took the time to explain in great detail of what to expect, what to look out for and everything else under the sun. She really put my mind at ease and made me realize once again that this is in fact not a regular pregnancy and I shouldn't view it as such.

I ended up with a ton of prescriptions, including the Terbutaline pills, just in case the contractions continue. I am also on Prometrium (again). I go tomorrow for another level II ultrasound to check out the boys' growth. I have a feeling I will also be referred to an MFM for a few appointments.

The L&D Dr. says she will definitely be seeing me again - I guess I'd better get used to this.

Mind and Body

Apparently my mind either a) has not received the memo my body sent out, or b) didn't read or understand it completely. I still think I should be able to do things and am running into problems shortly after I make my attempt. Even picking up Evan's toys from the floor is proving to be quite difficult, the contractions start almost immediately.

A few days ago, I was feeling adventurous and anxious to get out of the house. I figured a short trip to Target wouldn't hurt anything. Wrong! I was there less than an hour and began to get extremely tired. When I went to the front of the store to finalize my purchases I even started to feel like I was going to pass out. Oh, and just an FYI, one o'clock in the afternoon is NOT a good time of day for a Target run - I swear everyone was there and wanting to check out at the same time.

Things got so bad I even considered sitting on the floor a few times. And of course I accidentally left my cell phone at home on the couch, so I couldn't even call Kevin. Anyway, I made it home okay and went to rest in bed with my glass of water.

I just hope I start to realize my limits aren't what they were when I was pregnant with Evan. I am constantly amazed at how different having two of them inside of there is from just one. So, needless to say, I am still trying to adjust.

Quick Update

I had another appointment yesterday and overall things are well. Babies look great and are getting bigger. My belly is measuring at 30 weeks (I'm really only 22) and apparently I'm not doing so good on the 24 pounds in 24 weeeks goal. I am up a total of *one* pound from when I came in for my first appointment back in December. My doctor looks at things a little differently though since I lost around 8 or so pounds in the beginning, and points out that in her eyes I have gained about 9 pounds total so far (getting me back to a little over my previous weight).

The past week I had been experiencing Braxton-Hicks contractions and didn't really think too much of it. I guess I am in need of some more "twins" education, as I got an ever so slight lecture from the doc about how I am a high risk patient and shouldn't take things like this lightly. She went on to explain that pre-term labor does not have to feel like real labor, you know the screaming in pain, huffing and puffing part, and can feel like regular old BH contractions. So, as of now I'm supposed to start keeping track of them - any more than six per hour and I am to lay down with a glass of ice water in hopes they stop. If they don't then I get to make a trip up to Labor & Deliver to get checked out. She also wants me to start taking things a little more easy than I have been. I have to admit, I've kind of been pushing myself to my limits lately.

Dr. K went on to tell me that she's sure I'll get to know the L&D nurses really well because most MoMs end up having to get checked out at least a few times before they actually deliver. Gee, I can't wait. :/

We are checking into getting Evan in daycare full-time so I can actually have a break when I need one and not have to worry about finding someone to watch him on days he isn't enrolled, etc. Things are getting more and more real by the day.

Room and Board

Last week I was visiting different websites about being pregnant with twins so that I could get more informed. I came across the suggestion that MoMs (moms of multiples) should have their hospital bags packed and the carseats in the car at around 28 weeks. This immediately sent me into panic mode and I started envisioning the to-do list that seemed about as long as the list of Jolly old St. Nick.

So, the following Sunday (while I still had some energy) we headed out for an early morning run to Babies R Us. We ended up getting a changing table, the carseats, mattresses, bedding sets and other things to help decorate the twins' nursery. Apparently the store has a "twins discount" which no doubt helped out, but in the scheme of things seemed almost non-existant on our receipt. After the horrifying reality of our bill wore off we headed home.

Of course I sent Kevin off to the room to get it emptied out - it's previous role was "guest room". Kev was such a good sport the whole day. I'm so thankful to have a husband that realizes when he needs to help out and get things done, without complaining too!

After the room was cleared he was put to work assembling the new crib we purchased last week and the changing table. It took quite a while since he didn't really get much help. He was even a dear and helped dress the cribs with the bedding sets. The only thing I really did on my own was put up the wall decals. Smart move, Kev...no offense, but if you would have done it, it might have looked like the monkey exhibit at the zoo spewed monkeys and dots across the room.

Anyway, the room still needs a ton of work and all of those "cute finishing touches", but the basics ares done for now. I think it is really cute and am quite pleased with it.

"It's Really Embarrassing!"

So, we had our first pregnancy check-up knowing there were two babies in there today. I asked Kevin to come along since we had not talked to a doctor about the new...err...situation. Of course Evan was in tow as well (poor little thing hates seeing his mom in the setting of a doctor's office and turns on the crocodile tears every time.)

The whole family makes it back to the exam room and I begin to hear some commotion outside of our door. I have to admit, I giggled a bit because I had an inkling as to what it might be about. A few seconds later the nurse knocks on our door, pokes her head in and mumbles, "uh...are you guys...?" before she could get another word out Kevin reassures her that she does indeed have the correct ultrasound report, and YES we ARE having twins!

I recognized the shock in her face immediately and exclaimed, "that's exactly how I looked!"

She then apologizes for not knowing ahead of time (I guess the Fetal Health Office was supposed to call them?) and leaves to prepare the OB's ultrasound room. Meanwhile, Dr. K comes in - equally as shocked - and gives us a quick crash course in the events to follow. As soon as the other room is available we are whisked away so that she can see the babies with her own eyes.

Just for the record, there are still two in there - and it wasn't some bizarre dream sequence :) I have to start having appointments every two weeks now and will get an ultrasound each time. I am excited at the thought of seeing my little teddy bears so often! Everything looks good, so as of now I am not being referred to a specialist unless I develop any complications down the road. Dr. K measured my belly...which is measuring at 27 weeks!

While we were chatting it up, she had mentioned that I was her first...yep her first patient that she had "missed" a twin in. She's been practicing for over 15 years too. I felt so bad for her, you could tell it was eating away at her on the inside. While on our way out she had mentioned that "it's really embarrassing" to have missed something like this. Poor thing, I wanted to give her a hug. Love you Dr. K, hope your day gets better!

The BIG ultrasound and the BIG news!

It has taken me a few days to even have the focus to write about this monumental event. We have some extremely exciting (and scary) news to share!

Friday, February 27th was quite the eventful day. It started out with the armagedon of diaper blowouts followed by a bath, disassembling a highchair, and placing said highchair parts into the washing machine. From there, Evan and I had to rush to get ready for an appointment with a nice lady from an alarm company to bid a system for our house. And this was all before 10:00 am!

After the alarm lady left we quickly got ourselves together (again) and had just enough time to scarf down a speedy lunch. Kevin took half of a day off from work so that we could make it to our BIG ultrasound at 1:45. Of course as our luck would have it, the OB's office schedules the appointment at the fetal health center for you, and clearly does not take into consideration when your toddler's naptime is.

Evan fell asleep almost immediately in the car and we even sat in the parking garage for an extra ten or fifteen minutes to let him sleep a little longer. It turns out our extra efforts weren't really all that useful. He was a handful the second we walked through the office doors. We knew it was going to be an eventful appointment to say the least...little did we know!

We are called back and while on our way down the hall to our room, the nice lady informs us that she is in training and still a student. I'm not sure where she was from, but her accent was incredibly thick. In very few words she went on to state she would only be getting a few measurements and that her overseeing ultrasound technician would soon be in for the remainder of our ultrasound.

The warm jelly is squirted onto my belly and the wand is gently moved into position. There it is...our first look at our precious little baby up on the monitor. At this point it is clear the student is having a difficult time getting her measurements, but isn't saying a whole lot. I glance up at the monitor and see two large white circles. They appear to be heads, but I MUST be sorely mistaken as we KNOW there is ony one baby in there. The student is still quiet and concentrating intently. Surely she would have said something if there really were more than one in there...but WHAT IS that other circle??

At this point what I'm guesstimating to be about fifteen minutes have elapsed. There's a knock at the door and the overseeing ultrasound tech slowly steps into the room while glancing up at the screen. You can clearly see the shock on her face. That shock was immediately followed by reprimanding the student about how she should have come and notified her right away.

I quickly shoot my husband a concerned look and he reciprocates. What could be wrong with my baby??

The student is urgently rushed from the room as the ultrasound tech takes over the duties. She leaned over, and asked me in a flat voice, "Do you see what I see?"

I blurted out my suspicions. "There's two of them in there, isn't there?"

"Yes, honey, it appears you are having twins!"

So there you have it folks, we have two on the way in just a short amount of time. Kevin and I are scared out of our minds with worry, but absolutely thrilled.

What a day!

Well, I haven't visited my blog in quite a few months. Things have been pretty busy around here. Evan is getting to the age where he is into everything, which can make things quite difficult. Today we went to get a long overdue haircut. Evan did decent, the poor little guy still cries every time though.

By the time his haircut wrapped up it was lunchtime. I found myself thinking "I bet Ev would have so much fun if I treated him to McDonald's and some playtime in the kids play area." Man, oh man, was that a bad idea! We had never actually been INSIDE of this McD's and I had no idea where the drink station was. I had briefly looked around for it while carrying our tray of nuggets, apples, and milk, my purse, and keeping one hand in the hand of my toddler. As Murphy's Law would have it, I didn't immediately spy the drink area.

We proceed into the play area and set up shop at a small table. Evan happily goes to town on his apple dippers while I patiently wait for another stressed out, but kind mother to take up shelter at the table next door so that I can get my drink. It didn't take long for a nice, beautiful mom and grandma to sit down with a 3 year old and a one year old. They happily obliged my request to keep an eye on my son for ten seconds while I ran to get my refreshments. Everything SEEMED to be going okay, right?

Well, that's when the events took a turn for the worse. Before I know it, Evan had spilled milk into his caramel dipping sauce, had sweet 'n sour sauce smeared across his face, fallen out of his chair and nose dived into the table...then onto the ground, and was throwing the mother of all tantrums. I.was.mortified!

I quickly gave up on the idea of him eating any amount of food that could be considered a "meal" and took his shoes off to go play. Apparently another mistake on my part. By this time both of us weren't in the right mind to have fun and regular scheduled nap-time was approaching with warped speed. The poor kid was trying, he really was. But he wasn't quite big enough to climb into the tunnels and go exploring like all of the bigger kids around him. That's right, I said bigger kids. *sigh* Yep, he got pushed around a few times, which resulted in waterworks. I decided I had had enough embarrassment and angering moments for the day and decided to cut my losses. We hightailed it out of there and Evan was promptly sent to nap in his room.

I don't think we'll be attempting this stunt for at least another few months, not without another set of hands to help that is.